she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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