You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
