it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize