I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
