I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We just shotgunned beers for America
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Randomize
