You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
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