if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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