i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
