The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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