I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
