He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
