Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
