I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
