You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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