yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
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Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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