went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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