my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
