In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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