Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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