I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
