U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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