I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
