Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
