zippers are such a cool invention
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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