It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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