I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
