I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
There r osticjed everywhere
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
