Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
