My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize