Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
now i know why i became what i already was.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
