He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
