saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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