Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
