We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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