She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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