guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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