So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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