I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
