I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
