no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
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