the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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