im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
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TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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