her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
