just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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