OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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