He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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