Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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