How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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