Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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