You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize