i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
FUCK WHALES
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
