How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
