we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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