im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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