i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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