Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
