addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Randomize
