Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
