that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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