And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
