Pants 0. Shit 1.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
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