I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
