I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
