went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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