I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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