i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
