She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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